I guess this is where I could say “a year went by so fast” or “it only feels like yesterday that I started streaming”, but that wouldn’t really be the case. A lot has happened since I hit “Start Streaming” in the OBS window for the first time, and my non-broadcaster past almost feels like a different life entirely.
Looking back, my identity as a gamer has changed significantly over the past few years. Four years ago I wasn’t gaming at all, and hadn’t been since elementary school. I grew up with the PS1 and loved the handful of games my little brother and I had for it, but only enjoyed a couple of Sims games on the PS2 before abandoning gaming in favor of sports (synchronized skating). Only when I started studying at the university and suddenly didn’t spend six evenings and a couple of mornings a week at the arena anymore did I return to my hobby of old – it was The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim that pulled me back in, thus becoming my first experience of that console generation.
The major factor that had held me back from picking up a controller myself as opposed to just watching someone else play was, quite simply, violence. Skyrim looked and felt realistic enough to me that the first time I was attacked by wolves in-game, I was legitimately alarmed and considered fighting them a very unpleasant experience. Other aspects of the game intrigued me enough that I soon became completely hooked, however, and found myself organizing the rest of my life around my gaming hours. As I gained that “general gaming experience” that lets players distance themselves from what they’re playing as, I eventually grew to like combat as well. A year later, i.e. three years ago, I would still be rocking Skyrim before discovering the franchise that would truly change my life.
First Thunderdome Duo, two months into streaming. (Jan 15, 2015)
Exactly two years ago, I had been playing Mass Effect 3 multiplayer on my PS3 for a few weeks and was fiercely addicted. I had finished the single-player campaign a handful of times during the summer, the franchise having more or less taken over my life from the moment I gave it a go. The step to trying out the online co-op mode was no small one, however. While merely watching Nik play I had sworn that I could not and would not ever shoot anybody even in a game, so getting used to any kind of shooter was the second big step after becoming accustomed to videogame violence in the first place. I had only enjoyed the single-player campaign on Normal difficulty, mostly focusing on the story and lore, and was convinced multiplayer wasn’t for me. Eventually it bothered me too much that there was a game mode of Mass Effect that I had no experience of, so I entered the menu, heart pounding fiercely, and created my first lobby.
While I was already active on the wiki, the one thing I have not used it for to date is walkthroughs and guides. I do like reading up on lore, history, combat mechanics and such, but I’ve never felt the need or desire to consult the wiki for help on how to progress or achieve specific outcomes. Likewise, I hadn’t found out how a multiplayer match is actually structured, so I entered the game, three random players by my side, and got started with my first-ever multiplayer wave.
I only remember that it was on Firebase Reactor and that I panicked a little when I realized that (of course, silly me) you can’t pause the game – and that after two or three waves I felt it was becoming too much for me, so I outright quit the lobby! After that I may have actually read the ME3MP article on the wiki, and also later learned that since I was hosting the game, the others would have been affected by my departure (which embarrassed me immensely at the time). Nonetheless, the wheels had been set in motion. So far I’d been playing on Nik’s account, but now the time was ripe to create my own PSN account, with my very own, unique gamer ID: starbuck2190 was born.
I began to discover new sides of myself not only as a gamer, but as a person. I had never thought I could muster the courage to play online with strangers, let alone talk to them; granted, I did keep communications to a minimum, even if I didn’t take too long investing in a proper gaming headset. It was a powerful experience, all in all: the thrill of getting to know the game mechanics better and, above all, improving as a player was enormous. The next major change came much sooner than I’d expected, however: a family acquaintance offered me a salvaged desktop PC for nearly nothing, and suddenly the possibility of playing the PC versions of the games opened itself up. More on how I whipped the thing into gaming shape here. >>
Having never owned more than a crappy old laptop which barely ran Solitaire, the step to becoming a PC gamer was significant. I was new to all things PC, and especially struggled with the controls. I had a wiki friend who played no small part in convincing me to try multiplayer to begin with and who’d been waiting to play with me for a long time, so I succumbed to not wanting to appear as a total newb: in seeking a gaming experience that was as close as possible to what I was used to, I used an emulator to map keyboard and mouse events to an X360 gamepad. In retrospect, I wish I’d dropped the controller much sooner; it allowed me to survive (and eventually extract a few Gold solos, even) but the game lacking controller support, its potential was very limited. I still used the gamepad for nearly a year, though, and it was during this time that I discovered Twitch. We have reached the autumn of last year.
I’ve told the story of how I started watching Timmmt many times since, but to find a stream with a chill atmosphere and intriguing gameplay made an enormous impact on me. It inspired me to try builds and playstyles I hadn’t thought of myself, and triggered my interest in trying the Platinum difficulty. This also pushed me into losing the training wheels once and for all – the gamepad. I did a final Gold solo with the N7 Fury on October 1st last year, then moved along on my road to becoming a legit PC player. One week later – on October 8th, 2014 – I overcame my nerves, set everything up, and did my first ever broadcast (ME3MP, of course).
Max concurrent viewers, October 2014 (first month of streaming)
It was absolutely terrifying. The mere knowledge that someone could be watching exactly what you’re doing and hearing what you’re saying was nerve-wracking enough. I considered my command of English to be alright, but I’d had very little opportunity to actually speak it. All of this plus getting used to the new PC controls proved to be rather challenging, so I practiced as much as I could and then started streaming more regularly in November. The video above is from early December.
I was surprised at how quickly my community grew, and what excellent people there are out there. My old desktop PC that barely ran ME3 and OBS at the same time, even at the lowest possible quality settings, was a great concern at the time. How my viewers funded a new computer for me is more recent history, and something I will always be grateful for.
First time using facecam
Since the early ME3MP days, the PC upgrade has allowed me to expand my supply of entertainment and become something of a full-time broadcaster. The community has been growing slowly but steadily: many of my earliest viewers are still around, and we have acquired many more along the way. After all this time, we’ve even had BioWare employees stop by lately, which kind of blows my mind. I always thought they would have to be delighted to know that there’s a corner of Twitch where a growing player and fan community constantly assembles to show the ME games so much love – and now they do know!
I like to say one should celebrate the great things in life every single day, so tonight we celebrate Mass Effect, Twitch, each other… just like every other day! \o/
Thanks for reading. Until we meet again, have a good one! ♥
—Star
starbuck2190 